Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Party time

2005-10-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

It has been rather quiet at the Kwik-E-Mart today. Homer is in Guatemala, and Snake is in jail for the next few days, so there has not been much to do. To avoid boredom, I have been playing a lot of high energy dance music in the store. I decided to make a list:

Apu's Favorite High Energy Dance Songs that End with Explosions

1. Rang De (from Thakshak)
2. Dhoom Machale (from Dhoom)
3. La Copa de la Vida (by Ricky Martin)
4. Taal Se Taal Mila (Dance Remix) (from Taal)
5. Ishq Kamina (from Shakti)
6. Tunak Tunak Tun (by Daler Mehndi)

As the music fans among you have no doubt gathered, I have listed the songs in ascending order, based on the quality of the explosion at the end. Perhaps my readers would be so kind as to suggest other energetic dance songs that end with impressive musical explosions.

Lost

2005-10-12T23:54:00.000-07:00

Manjula and I have been enjoying the television show Lost. There is an Indian actor on the show named Naveen Andrews, but he doesn't play an Indian person, he plays an Iraqi soldier. Manjula won't admit it, but I think she finds him quite handsome. Normally I don't mind, because there is also a very lovely Korean woman on the show. But tonight as I was tenderly embracing Manjula the way I normally do on Wednesday evenings before my graveyard shift, I noticed a far away look in her eyes. I think she may have been pretending that I was this Naveen fellow. Later when she told me that she thought perhaps I should grow my hair a bit longer and wash it only once a week, I became even more suspicious.

My new hat

2005-09-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

Since the weather is getting colder, Manjula decided to knit a hat for me.

Manjula told me that she was going to count to three and then take a picture of the hat, but as she was counting, I noticed that my son Anoop was vomiting on our new Oriental rug. That is why I am making such an idiotic expression in the photo.

Graveyard shift at the Kwik-E-Mart

2005-09-16T01:44:00.000-07:00

Penguin baseball!

All's well that ends well.

2005-08-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

For those of you that are wondering (is anyone actually reading this?), Sanjay and I worked everything out. He did some research on the online poker playing industry and realized that it was quite a competitive arena, so for now, he is staying at the Kwik-E-Mart. I told him that he is right to be proud of his daughter's academic achievements, then we had some chai Squishies to celebrate our reconciliation.

Did anyone see the series finale of Six Feet Under last night? That montage at the end was quite good, I thought.

An argument

2005-08-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

I had a bit of an argument with my brother Sanjay last night. Sanjay wants to sell his share of the Kwik-E-Mart and start an online poker playing website. I asked him not to quit, and told him that there is no one else in Springfield capable of running the Kwik-E-Mart. Sanjay suggested the teenaged fellow with all the pimples, but he already has seven other jobs, so I don't think that will be a good idea.

The argument got a bit heated, and we both said some things that we probably shouldn't have said. Sanjay told me that my life in America has been a waste, and that the Kwik-E-Mart is no place for someone with a Ph.D in Computer Science and eight children to care for. I told Sanjay that he has become too greedy to care about his family, and that no one wants to hear about how well his daughter did in the Johns Hopkins Talent Search.

We are both too stubborn to apologize, so I'm not sure what's going to happen.

Why I hate dinner parties

2005-08-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

I haven't had much time to blog, as things have been quite busy at the Kwik-E-Mart lately. Three of the children have started walking, so it has been a bit mad at home, too. Yesterday, Nabendu, Poonam, Uma, Pria, Sandeep, Sashi, and Gheet all needed to be changed at the same time. I think they are somehow coordinating their bowel movements in such a way as to make my life a living hell.

Sometimes it can be quite lonely being the only Indian family in Springfield. The Shelbyville Indian community isn't much better. They are all quite snobbish, and always having such awful dinner parties. On Saturday Manjula and I had to go to one of them. Two of the couples at the party were fighting, so it was quite uncomfortable. Apparently, Rashmi told her friend Meena that Vimla's new drapes were the cheapest ones sold at J.C. Penney's. Then Vimla heard about Rashmi's drape comments from Meena and told her husband Raj, who went to Rashmi's house and yelled at her husband Anand. Now Rashmi and Vimla and Raj and Anand aren't talking to each other, and no one is talking to Meena. Yet everyone still insists on getting together and pretending to be impressed when their clumsy children perform the "Bole Chudiyan" dance.

Meena invited Manjula over for dinner next Friday, but I think I would rather be shot by Snake again than have to listen to Meena and her tone-deaf husband sing "Khabhi Khabhi" one more time.

The scene of the crime

2005-07-31T14:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was quite an exciting day, as I started my new blog and also got robbed by Snake. Fortunately, Manjula happened to stop by the Kwik-E-Mart as the robbery was in progress, so she called the police. Snake even took a picture for my blog before he was cuffed and led away:

I thought it was a nice picture, but it makes me seem a bit paunchy. Manjula wants me to start dyeing my hair.

Hello, world!

2005-07-30T16:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been reading Sanjay's blog for a few months now, and I decided that it was time also for me to start a blog. Setting up the blog was more difficult than I had anticipated, as most of the popular names and URLs have already been taken. In fact, there is already a apunahasapeemapetilon.blogspot.com! I don't know who this other Apu Nahasapeemapetilon is, but people seem to think that he may be interested in receiving a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, Doctorate or Ph.D in almost any field, totally confidential, open 24 hours a day.

Ultimately, I decided to name my blog address after my favorite Hollywood actor, Hank Azaria. Though he doesn't have the gravitas of Amitabh Bachchan or the dashing good looks and body hair of Akshay Kumar, Hank Azaria is an excellent comedic actor; I would even say that I feel a certain undefinable connection to his characters. When I learned that Hank Azaria had divorced from his equally-talented wife, Helen Hunt, I must admit that I felt a certain sadness in my heart, though I don't know either Hank or Helen personally.

Well, I must go now. Snake has come to rob the store. More later!

test

2005-07-30T14:41:00.000-07:00

Thank you, come again!